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| Chico on Queen Mnt |
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| Ernie on Gold Hill |
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| Kit on Red Top Mnt |
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| Chico on Queen Mnt |
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| Ernie on Gold Hill |
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| Kit on Red Top Mnt |
I was asked recently what I look for in a foal. How do I pick a good one, or what is it about a youngster that sparks joy in my heart? I found it wasn't a snap answer. Definitely one to give some consideration to from multiple view points. So, here are my viewpoints. They are just mine, of course, but maybe they will give you some perspective on finding your own!
I remember asking my mentor, Eitan, what he looked for in a horse. How did he pick the champions from the many young horses that came through his hands. He found it hard to verbalize. Like the artist and horseman that he is he described it as a feeling. You just know. There is something about the horse that speaks to your soul. When I look at the horses that have remained as part of my herd I would have to agree. There is something about the outside of a horse that touches the inside of the human and that connection is a lot like picking a spouse. It's hard to define.
| Mia Fe born July 2020. "Fe" was a very sensitive but brave foal from day one. She is an athletic level mover much like her momma. She is opinionated but smart. Definitely one to challenge you. |
As a Veterinarian I am called on to examine young horses for health and wellness. I often get to see these youngsters at their 24 hour check up. It's quite honestly one of my favorite things to do. If I wasn't also trying to run a business I would do these check ups free of charge. It's the very best part of our job. We listen to the heart, checking for regularity and lack of murmurs. We listen to the lungs to ensure there is no lingering fluid and air is moving equally through both sides. We feel all the joints to be sure there is no swelling. We check the umbilicus, scrotal area and perineum for any hernias or abnormalities indicating possible inherited reproductive defects. We look at the jaws, to ensure there is no evidence of malignment of the bite. We look at the eyes to be sure we don't have any suspicion of congenital cataracts. And finally we draw blood to make sure that baby received all of the colostrum from momma to set it on the path of health and wellness for a productive life. None of those very important things tell me anything about who the horse is destined to be. The completely healthy and normal 24 hour old foal may grow up to be a clobber footed dingbat who can't walk a straight line without tripping or spooking. What does give me some information as to who this foal will be is how they handle the process of this examination.
Whether your foal was imprinted properly or was gathered from a range mare and trapped in a corner while someone restrains the veterinarian eating momma, you can see right from the start if this is a sensitive, curious, frightful, brave, or smart baby. It still doesn't tell you much about their winning potential but it does give you the first glimpse of their personality. In my very humble and relatively inexperienced opinion, that personality means at least twice what the conformation, breeding and type mean for performance in the long run.
The next important aspect of evaluating a young horse is to be realistic about what you hope that foal will grow up to be. You may have a discipline focused breeding program that is carefully creating foals for a specific purpose that predetermines the athletic future of your foal. You may also have one special mare that you bred in honor of keeping the legacy of that special horse alive in your herd. Either way, the best of intentions can be overridden by so many variables that are completely out of your control and likely more related to your horse's personality or possibly physical limitations. My great grandpa, grandpa, father and uncle were all attorneys. My mother was a paralegal for my father. I was bred to be an attorney and raised in a home filled with it. My personality determined that wasn't possible for me. That's a little anthropomorphic for our foals, but they will tell you what their job should be if you listen. You are much more likely to turn a baby bred for your sport into a happy participant in that sport but they can still surprise you.
This is again why I think personality is so important in your selection. If you are a hunter jumper you want a brave, forward thinking not overly sensitive (spooky or touchy) foal. If you are a reiner you want an athletic, sensitive, smart but level headed foal. If you are a casual trail rider you want a foal that is trusting, quiet, brave but not reactive. It's important to be realistic about your goals. You may think you want a high powered athletic cowy son-of-a-gun, but if you are only a casual hobby cow worker that horse may spin right out from underneath you because his game is bigger than yours!
I believe you can see a lot of this potential in a youngster from day one, but especially by 3 months. It's a little tougher if they haven't been handled much but you can also watch how they interact in the herd or with their mother. You can watch how they learn, how they process stimuli, how they seek release.
So, how do I select my next partner from the small breeding program I have been blessed with? I have a sentimental legacy that I very much want to carry on in selecting an offspring from my stallion. I had hoped to have a son of his to carry on his legacy but he is going to have to carry that legacy through one of his daughters. I am an avid mountain rider but I also love fancy movement and a flashy horse that tests me and forces me to grow and learn with it. I also want pretty. Ultimately, I think I pick out my horses most like Eitan. There is just that something. That indefinable something that touches my soul when I see a horse that needs to be mine. I'm still not going to be able to put it into any more words than that!
This blog post is going to depart from my general horsemanship ramblings to more of a personal note. I suppose, as all horsemen know, that horsemanship is really life, it won't be as much of a stretch as it may seem at first glance. As Buck Brannaman is much quoted as saying, "Horses and life; it's all the same to me."
I've come to view 2021 as my personal nadir. As I've been wallowing, struggling and trying to breathe through these past months, "nadir" is the most polite and academic term I can come up with. For those of you who's geometry classes are somewhat of a blur, here is the definition of nadir as defined by our friends at Webster
Nadir: the point of the celestial sphere that is directly opposite the zenith and vertically downward from the observer. 2 : the lowest point.
The problem with the term nadir is that it assumes that it is in fact the lowest point and that there will be no points lower in the future. Handy in geometry or astronomical computations, less handy in life. Indeed I cringe slightly to assume this is in fact has been the nadir and that life will be better in the future. That implies a certain amount of hope that is quite frankly difficult to sustain in the sucking pit of nadirism.
Pain, depression and anxiety, regardless of their source or substance can only truly be appreciated by the person for whom they are making their mark. We judge our friends for their ability to weather a storm and marvel at their brave ability to move forward with a perpetual spirit of polyannaism. As a society we are uncomfortable with grief, pain, and depression. It hasn't been that long in our collective psyche that the mentally compromised were stashed away out of sight in some horrific institutions, colloquially dubbed "hospitals" but more akin to dungeons.
In today's more "woke" society we can talk about it in the abstract. We can recognize the importance of mental well being and stability. We have armloads of pharmaceuticals devoted to the pursuit of stable mental health. But we still struggle to know what to do for a friend or loved one that is experiencing the nadir of their own personal storyline arc.
Because as a society we struggle to embrace these nadirs, those left experiencing them are forced to cope in a number of different ways, all of which are then subject to judgement by our friends, families and acquaintances. Unfortunately, without the aid of either professionals who are well versed in these struggles or friends that have reached their nadir and climbed back out again we can struggle to feel like our own personal journey is normal emphasizing the "brokenness" that I think is more disorientating than the depression.
While all of us must go through the day to day and minute to minute realities of our own journey on our own, it is so useful to know that others have felt the way you do and have found a way to feel more "normal" again. But how are we to discover that if we don't talk about it? If talking about it makes your friends feel uncomfortable or that they need to "fix" it for you?
When my best friend hit her nadir and was rocked by personal tragedy that I couldn't even empathize with because of the shear depth of the pain, I was at a loss for how to help. I chose love through distraction for my friend and tried to be present to listen when she needed someone to talk to. But in reality I just couldn't be what she really needed in that time. Thank goodness she had the presence of mind to seek a support group of others that were going through a similar experience to help her understand the process and to help her identify her experience through the filter of other people's journeys.
Then when I hit my low point, she was able to be there for me. Just talking about how low the lows feel and how hard it is some days to just freaking brush your hair and make it out the door. How you have days where you feel pretty dang normal then something hits you out of left field and you are struggling to breath normally again.
Grief and depression are such a personal things. Nobody can truly walk through those things with you. Nobody can take the pain away or say anything that will ease the suffering that has to bleed through your system as it heals you. But, having the freedom to say, "this is how I feel today" and having someone that can say, "Ah, yes. I remember something like that feeling." makes you realize that you are not, after all, crazy. You are not, after all, irrevocably broken. And most importantly, you are not, after all, going to feel like this for the rest of your life.
Having been for the most part a very joyful and optimistic person for the past 48 years it has been earth shattering to me to feel my nadir (dear god, let this be my nadir!). Looking for things that spark joy or trying to count my blessings is a daily chore that I sometimes fail to get done. It's hard not to stare around the world at this dark reality and not just get caught up in the melancholy of it all.
Because society demands it, I hide these feelings most of the time. I play distraction games that allow me to forget or at least to concentrate on something else besides the darkness still sucking at my core. I go to work. I do my chores. I attempt to engage in the things that have brought me joy. But, when I give myself the time to acknowledge the despair it swoops in and grabs me by the ankles and I have to sit and cry for a spell before I can move on again.
So, why am I talking about this? Is this a desperate plea for sympathy? Is this a cry for help or attention? Am I trying to say to the world, look at how tough I have it? Nope. None of those things. I know I am not alone. I know that there are others who are struggling with their own nadirs. I know that loss, suffering, and depression are everywhere and the people struggling may be friends, acquaintances and people that you would never in a million years suspect are struggling. This is why grace is so important. Talking is important when you feel safe to do so. Being NOT OK IS OK!. You don't have to put on a happy face all the time. You don't have to be having the most amazing blessed life all the time. (Social media is the WORST for that!)
We need to normalize the process of being less than okay and still getting through your day. We need to talk about the struggles, the weight of the feelings and the lack of joy that can be a daily burden to carry. We need to be gracious to one another. If you know someone who is struggling, just a quick note, soft word, or quick hug can mean the world to them. Don't make them feel like they have to go away until they can be more happy and normal again. It is brave to face adversity with a smile, but I think it's even braver to stand there and look it in the eye with tears streaming down your face.
So many topics in the equestrian world spark fierce debate and I suppose that's just human nature all over. Shoes or no shoes, blanket or no blanket, bridles or bitless are all topics of much heated debate in horsey chatrooms and there are avid and well referenced Karens on both sides of the keyboard as well established and successful professional horsemen. The issue of whether it is good and appropriate to "treat" a horse is another one where you can see heated impassioned debate on both sides of the issue. So, let's delve into the ins and outs and whys and why nots of hand feeding treats to your equine partner.
First of all it is important to understand the strength of the nature of association in the brain with positive reinforcement. It is universally understood that positive reinforcement is the strongest training tool that we currently understand in all facets of animal behavior. The association between a behavior and a positive reward can form behavior links that are so strong they can be recreated years after the initial behavior modification is instilled. I had the distinct pleasure of talking to a marine animal trainer when I visited Sea World a few years ago and when he learned I was a visiting veterinarian we spoke at length about how they train the animals to actively cooperate with difficult veterinary procedures like blood sample collection without the aid of any physical restraint. As an equine veterinarian that has to deal with needle shy and sometimes dangerous patients I found this fascinating and it made me realize how barbaric our handling and training of our domestic animals is by comparison. Yes leaping through a hoop and balancing a ball is cool but the real success in operant conditioning in my opinion is having a dolphin swim to you and present a fin for blood draw without a qualm.
Positive reinforcement in operant conditioning is a behavior modification technique in which a pleasant stimulus is added to the environment in direct association with the desired behavior with the purpose of encouraging the frequency of the behavior. This is the method of training universally used in training marine mammals, zoo animals and most circus performing animals as well. While you hear the horror stories of negative reinforcement and barbaric techniques like shocks, whips, and prods being applied in those settings, they are actually much more common in our domestic training programs, specifically in all equestrian fields. Indeed our entire training program that relies on the use of physical aids is negative reinforcement. You apply an uncomfortable stimuli (even if it's very mild) and the horse responds and the stimuli is taken away. That is negative reinforcement. It is also a safe, effective and humane way of training but that is not the method of training that is traditionally most effective for long term behavior changes.
Animals trained with positive reinforcement will often offer the behavior in an attempt to garner the reward that they are used to receiving. An animal trained in negative reinforcement will seldom do the same as they have been taught that the status quo of being left alone is the ultimate reward.
Because every single horseman is by default an amateur trainer it is imperative that we understand behavior modification and the ramifications of each type if we are going to make decisions and continue to train our animals to have the behaviors that we desire whatever their intended purpose or use in our lives from pleasant companion to elite athlete. Timing and feel of the addition of stimuli or removal of stimuli are essential for creating the behaviors we desire. You may have heard the horseman's refrain, horse's learn from the release of pressure not the pressure itself. That is an elemental pillar of behavior modification through negative reinforcement. The timing of the reward in both positive and negative reinforcement is imperative for the association to be paired with the appropriate behavior and here in lies the rub.
It is possible, through poor timing to create positive reinforcement associations for the WRONG BEHAVIOR and this is what gives food rewards such a bad name in horsemanship circles. This is why you will hear people say that using food rewards creates dangerous horses that will bite you or that it teaches them disrespect for the person or that they will get to the point that they will only do something for the reward. These are all examples of the horse training the human through poor timing of positive reinforcement. The wrong behaviors are rewarded, which creates very strong behavior pathways that are challenging to rewire and often are rewired through the use of another form of operant conditioning which is punishment.
Punishment in terms of behavior modification is the opposite of reinforcement and may also be termed positive or negative punishment. Punishment is stimuli in response to a behavior that will decrease the frequency of that behavior. An example of positive punishment in the equestrian world is "shanking" or jerking the lead rope in response to a horse walking forward uninvited. I'm sure you can think of many instances of positive punishment that are very common in most equestrian circles. Negative punishment is the removal of a pleasant stimuli that is meant to decrease a behavior. Leaving a horse tied until they are able to stand quietly would be an example. You remove the pleasant stimuli of comfort of moving or of companionship until they cease the undesirable behavior of equine temper tantrum. It's essentially the time out philosophy. While there is debate among behaviorists as to the ultimate effectiveness of punishment in behavior modification there is little doubt that the biggest down side to punishment is the likeliness of side effects related to the punishment. Again, we can see many examples in our equestrian world. Horse bites (maybe because they've taught the human to give them a treat that way) owner reacts by whacking said horse, horse responds by flipping it's head and becoming "head shy" in response to sudden movements of the hand. Repeat 3 times and it's a well established behavior pattern.
So, how can we as horsemen use the exceptionally potent training modality of positive reinforcement within the constructs of traditional horsemanship? A few years back I had the opportunity to discuss this with renowned equine behaviorist Dr. Sue McDonnell of New Bolton Center, University of Pennsylvania. Dr. McDonnell has long been one of my veterinary heroes as she specializes in reproductive behavior modification in horses. I find her work absolutely fascinating and the studies she has performed on basic herd dynamics in feral ponies is well worth the read for any horseman. After listening to Dr. McDonnell lecture for several hours on the effectiveness of positive reinforcement in horses I asked her how in the world can we use this in horses when our entire riding tradition is based on negative reinforcement and the application of aides? It would require an entirely different method of riding. The best we could come up with is a bit that would dispense something tasty when the right behavior was achieved. Not at all practical when trying to teach a horse to chase down a steer!!
While I don't see that we will ever be able to replace the use of negative reinforcement and training aids in our ridden horses I do believe that the piece that can be strongly cultivated through positive reinforcement is partnership. In Cowboy Dressage we place partnership right at the top of our list of equestrian goals. We want our horses to be with us, mind, heart, and soul and to desire our company as much as we desire theirs. We also want our horses to be safe and easy to handle and man, if we can encourage their active participation in the training process as much as possible, I'm all for that as well! Using well timed positive reinforcement we can encourage the horses to crave the training and interaction.
We use positive reinforcement to create a training environment that the horses crave. As a matter of fact, we often have trouble convincing them to leave when their training session is over. The desire to be with you and to be engaged in the activity becomes stronger and stronger through the proper application of positive rewards. This isn't bribery. This isn't about being a human Pez dispenser every time the horse sticks his nose out. It also isn't about riding around with a pocket full of treats to dispense when ever the horse does something amazing. Unless you are able to give the horse a food reward the moment the appropriate maneuver is performed you are ultimately rewarding them for stopping work while you fish a treat out of your pocket. (Although I have used this exact method for a horse that was anxious and unable to stand still in the middle of the dressage court!) So, while we can and do use positive reinforcement to train things like picking up the feet or putting on the bridle, mostly we use it to encourage quiet togetherness. We reward the horses just for hanging out with us and once they want to be with you, anything is possible, I believe.
Now, remember what I cautioned early on, there is a good reason why many very great horsemen discourage hand feeding of treats. Positive reinforcement can quickly and strongly influence the wrong behavior when used with poor timing. Rewarding a horse even once for aggressively frisking your pockets and you just reinforced the mugging behavior. Give a horse a treat because they are pawing and wont stand still and you want to distract them will quickly create a horse that is a chronic pawer. Bribing a horse to stand still by dispensing treats when they try to walk off will create a horse that is likely to never stand still. You absolutely must be 100% cognizant of the behavior you are trying to create and the environment you are trying to encourage if you are going to try to use positive reinforcement and that is why so many trainers tell their clients not to use it at all. But, if you are aware of the ramifications of this powerful tool, I think it is a great thing to experiment with. We readily encourage positive punishment in the equine world; "Whack him! Don't let him get away with that!!" which can also create unwanted behaviors as a side effect. Maybe it's time we started accepting the power of positive reinforcement as well!
They say everyone has one book in them. Maybe that is true, but how do you know if you have more than one? I will freely admit that since completing the book Dressage The Cowboy Way, I have been very remiss in the creation of any piece of written word. As I begin to start planning the next book project (projects, if I am honest) I realize that the writing muscle is just like any other muscle and goes soft when allowed to sit fallow for too long. So, dear reader, if you can bear with me, I think it's time to get back to the ol' keyboard. Welcome to the first blog of 2021.
I suppose the other reason that I have had more trouble than usual writing about the topic of horsemanship is that it has always been my struggles that have dictated my horsemanship musings. The written word is often how I delve into the mental process of understanding how the horse's mind works. It's how I come to grip with my huge blunders, small accomplishments and big concepts understood (or misunderstood). Since my horses have grown up a bit and I have been able to make slow but steady progress I have been less mired in the breakdown of horsemanship minutia in order to try to understand what goes on in those equine brains. And let's face it, 2020 was unconventional. It's pretty hard to say anything earth shattering on the greater topic of horsemanship when the entire globe is a dumpster fire of TP hording, murder hornets and plaque!
So, we look to 2021 and back on the lessons of 2020 with a grateful heart just to be here and an open mind and appreciation for every minute that we get to spend in the saddle. It is that grateful quiet heart that has been the greatest gift of this past year.
When COVID hit early in 2020 and the world started to shut down, Idaho was slow to follow. We watched what was happening in the rest of the world wondering how it would affect us here in N. Idaho. Surely we would just stay in for a couple of weeks and then things would get back to normal. I think we are all beginning to realize that normal will never be the same normal again. The shut down occurred for us as we were packing and preparing to head to California for our annual horsemanship school. We spend a week every spring with our second family down in Grass Valley, California. Under the watchful eye of Eitan Beth-Halachmy we hone our skills, check our progress and chart our course for the work we will do with our horses for the rest of the year. I can't understate how important that week of school is for us. When we lost that benchmark followed closely by the loss of our live shows I think we all felt adrift. All of the goals I had sketched out on my vision board for 2020 suddenly seemed trite, narcissistic and purposeless.
I have always been a big goal setter. I think having a road map for my progress is essential to success. I've been setting lofty goals for myself for as long as I can remember then working diligently towards that goal until I can check that box and then as soon as it is checked set an other goal even loftier and more difficult to achieve. It has served me well for goal reaching and box checking if not for smelling the roses and appreciating the moment. When 2020 removed all of my goals and structure and left me with an open ended flight plan, I had to learn how to embrace the moment. It may have been the biggest benefit of 2020.
As social distancing became the way of the world I took to the mountains and saw more back country than I have seen in my 16 years in this amazing county. I found a renewed love for the high mountains that I had really missed since my riding time got carved into smaller pieces often happening while I was teaching someone. Instead of spending every minute of my time in the arena attempting to tune my horse for the next show or to reach the next goal I remembered what it felt like to play and to hop on bareback and prance down to the lake at sunset or race around the arena just because. I remembered that sometimes just sitting on your horse in the middle of the arena watching the clouds roll over head is the most beautiful piece of training you can do. I was reminded of the joy of leisurely brushing my horse's tail in the sunshine instead of obsessing about keeping it clean and long and white for the next show.
The virtual show format was also a gift. Instead of the hours traveling, setting up, nervously getting your horse acclimated to the new venue then rushing about to get to your class only to wait around sweating by the in gate, we were able to ride right here at home. While there are definitely very good things that come from traveling and showing our horse, the stress free environment of the virtual show allowed us to just ride and remove the stress that comes with showing.
I didn't win any big awards in 2020. I didn't check any big goals off my vision board. I didn't set the Cowboy Dressage world on fire with any of my spectacular performances. But the rewards that I did receive were enormous and priceless and irreplaceable. Partnership, harmony, and an inner peace that is hard to obtain in any other way than in the quiet spaces of time when it is just you and your horse and the peace of a stolen moment.
I still take my horsemanship very seriously. I still work hard every single time I am in the arena. But what I have made sure to add each time I ride whether I have the time for it or not, is the peace and appreciation for the moment that 2020 taught me we cannot take for granted. Maybe my ride is cut short by life or the dang phone that never seems far away. Maybe I only get 15 minutes of actual saddle time. But what I don't skimp on is the connection and the time to just sit and be, whether in the saddle or out. To just be at peace and tell my horse how thankful I am for the time I get to spend with them. That time, and that partnership is more valuable in the long run that the fabulous feats of horsemanship that we chase.
So thank you 2020 for reminding us that we aren't really in the driver's seat. Life and all that comes with it is precious and fleeting. The gift of the sun on our shoulders and the smell of leather and horse sweat is enough. I hope that it doesn't take another global pandemic to remind us of the simple pleasures in life. I hope that normalcy returns in some form as the decade marches on. I will continue to scratch out some goals each year, but I'm not going to loose the forest for the valuable TP producing trees as I march down my horsemanship trail.