I am a very lucky lady.
Believe me I know that. I’m
living the dream working in the area I grew up in and doing a job I picked out
as a star struck 10 yr old. I have a successful
business, a wonderful marriage and I make a comfortable living. It would be easy to say, “I’ve made it!” and
settle comfortably into getting on with the business of day to day living.
But that’s not who I am.
I am a driven person who has always enjoyed pushing myself to the limits
of what I think I can achieve. Learning
is a life skill and I am a passionate learner. The only other thing I’ve ever
wanted to do with my life besides be a veterinarian is be a horseman. So, now
that I’ve reached my first goal it’s time to attack my second. I’ve set my goals on the trail of learning as
much as I can about the art of horsemanship.
I have a very scientific mind that suits me well as a
veterinarian but I also have a bit of an artistic streak. I enjoy many performance arts such as
dancing, singing, and (dare I say) yodeling.
Horsemanship is a form of performance art, in my opinion. I don’t consider it a sport because the main
ingredient, just like for a dancer, is an equal dose of timing and feel. You have to feel the moment, the movement,
the rhythm and the energy in order to reach new levels of awareness and timing
to communicate with these graceful and talented animals. Like any artistic performance, the secret ingredient is passion beyond the ordinary.
As a full time veterinarian with a busy practice many are
surprised that I have the time to pursue my passion like I do. I blame that on the history of my noble
profession. Veterinarians are a
passionate, dedicated lot. That dedication is one of
the things (besides an obvious love of animals) that made me choose this career. But, more and more, instead of letting our
profession define us until burnout takes us, we are learning as a group that
being a veterinarian is what we do not who we are. I’ve heard that the veterinary schools now
spend a bit of time on that very subject preaching balance in all things. I had one professor in my 4 years of veterinary school that preached balance to my class. He was our favorite teacher and taught during our toughest academic year. For most of us we were so buried in academics and chasing those high test scores that I doubt we really heard him. But later, as I started to feel the crushing weight of burnout I heard his voice in my head a lot. We are
a hard working group, for sure. There
are no illusions about this being a 9-5 job. But burn out and suicide are profession wide
problems because of our inability to create balance in our lives. Veterinarians are 4 times more likely to commit
suicide than the average person and twice as likely as their human doctor
counterparts. I get it. I’m not saying I was ever suicidal, but I
definitely was approaching critical burnout after only 10 years. But how do you take control back? How do you become the captain of your life
and your dreams?
I think many people can relate to what I’m talking
about. I hear over and over again as I
travel and teach on my weekends off that they wish they could go to a show, or
a clinic, or travel to see an event. If
only time would allow. I hear a lot of
somedays, and maybe whens and once I’ves.
I used to say those things as well.
As a solo practitioner for 10 years, days off; not to mention weekends
off, were a dream that was far out of my reach.
The profession that I had chosen and loved just about did me in in a
short span of 10 years of hard work. I
didn’t even take the day off to get married.
I did a castration on the way to the wedding and a plasma transfusion
hours after the ceremony. My clients
were incredulous and very grateful but not one of them said, "Good grief, no,
don’t come today!"
Thank goodness, for my sanity and the well-being of those
around me that all changed when I was able to find a partner willing to share the
load. I thank my lucky stars every
single day for that lovely lady who takes calls two weekends a month so I don’t
have to. Finally, I have to opportunity
to pursue a life beyond just my career.
Maybe it was going to so long without it that made me realize how very
important and precious my time is.
Life is a fleeting thing.
There are only 24 precious hours in every day and only 7 of those days
in every week. It’s up to us to choose
how we live those hours. In my early
years in practice I used to tell clients that called that I was so busy that I
couldn’t possibly do it until after 10 pm that evening. In my naivety, I expected them to hear the
exhaustion in my voice and say, “Oh, gosh no.
It’s not critical, just come another day.” But, do you know what they usually said
instead? “We’ll be up. No problem, just come when you can. We have plans tomorrow so we can't do it then.” Everybody else's time was always way more important to me than my own.
Nobody is going to hand you your time. You have to fight for every precious moment
there is and spend it as wisely as you can.
Don’t waste your life and those precious moments doing the things that
don’t matter in the long run. Chase your
dreams as hard as you are able. Go on
that trip. See that show. Take those classes you’ve always wanted to
take. Life doesn’t slow down, ever. Don’t wait for it to slow down.
So, for me, my dream is to become an accomplished
horseman. I understand that because of
my other life choices I am woefully behind on the journey to this life
skill. Most true horsemen are pretty
well along in their progression by the time they are my age. I could give you a long list of reasons why
my dream is unrealistic, unattainable, and out of reach. But
that would be counter-productive.
Instead, I decided 2 years ago that I was going to chase this dream as
hard as I could for one year. If it proved
too hard, or too expensive then I would quit.
Instead of quitting, I found ways to make it work and for me it meant taking a second job
teaching so I could dedicate time and funds strictly to chasing my dreams. So, I’m working just as hard or harder than I
was 10 years ago when I was building my practice. The difference is I have balance. I work hard at being a veterinarian and I
work hard at being a horseman and I divide my time fairly evenly between the
two. It has required sacrifices, for sure, but the
rewards have been tremendous.
So to those of you making bucket lists, or talking about the
somedays or maybe laters, I urge you not to lose track of that time. Take those small impossible steps to make
your life your own. Nobody gets to take it with them when they go. "Keep your face always towards the sunshine and the shadows will fall behind you. " Walt Whitman
,